There were 4,257,942 stepchildren in the United States (including Puerto Rico and the District of Columbia) reported by the 2000 Decennial Census.

(Source: The United States Census Bureau, Census 2000 Summary File [SF 1] 100-Percent Data, P27. Relationship by Household Type [Including Living Alone] [27] - Universe: Total Population, http://www.factfinder.census.gov.)

"The role of the stepmother is the most difficult of all, because you can't ever just be. You're constantly being tested--by the children, the neighbors, your husband, the relatives, old friends who knew the children's parents in their first marriage, and by yourself."

(Source: Anonymous Stepparent, Making It as a Stepparent, by Claire Berman, introduction [1980, repr. 1986] in Andrews, Robert; Biggs, Mary; and Seidel, Michael, et al., eds., The Columbia World of Quotations. New York: Columbia University Press, 1996. www.bartleby.com/66/ [accessed 29 August 2001].)

Although some stepmothers have achieved remarkable harmonious relationships with their stepchildren, it is hard to blink at the ubiquity of the cultural image of the stepmother as a figure of malice and evil.  Indeed, in a recent study of the psychological dynamics of what they term "the 'wicked stepmother' spiral" in modern society, researchers from South Dakota State University note that stepmothers have been depicted as "cruel, vicious, and jealous creatures" around the world for a very long time.  Citing examples of evil-stepmother stories from 11th-century Ireland and from 9th-century China as illustrative, these scholars report that this evil-stepmother image "has surfaced in different countries and cultures throughout history" and has appeared "for hundreds of years throughout Europe from Spain to Italy and Greece."  Nor has this image lost its power to affect modern thinking about stepmother-stepchild relationships.

Of course, contemporary women who take on the role of stepmother generally seek to avoid any resemblance to this malign image.  They want loving and happy ties to their stepchildren, not bitter and ugly ones.  Unfortunately, in their study of 154 stepmothers, the South Dakota researchers adduce considerable evidence that despite their good intentions, these women are "vulnerable to internalizing the wicked stepmother cultural icon as part of their personal identity." 

Why this vulnerability?   The authors of this new study perceive a great risk for "a downward spiral in the stepmother/stepchild relationship" because of an entirely predictable set of processes within a stepfamily.  The problem begins with "the unrealistic expectation that stepmothers should love their stepchildren."  When "this expectation fails [and] stepmothers realize that they do not love their stepchildren," then they naturally "feel inadequate and bad about themselves."  The situation often deteriorates when stepmothers, having identified the stepchild as the cause of their negative feelings, develop a feeling of "resentment toward the stepchild," a feeling which "leads the stepmother to pick on the stepchild or otherwise to use unfair treatment, which in effect makes the stepmother feel more guilt for not being fair."  Behold, the Wicked Stepmother.

True, the authors of the new study do find some differences in how this unhappy script applies to stepmothers with different attachment styles.  The depressing reality is that certain features of the wicked-stepmother syndrome show up regardless of attachment style-anxious, secure, or avoidant.  "Anxiously attached" stepmothers, for instance, are especially likely to "feel they are putting more into the relationship than they are getting out of it, with the result being greater feelings of unappreciation, anger at the situation, and resentment toward their stepchildren."  When the focus shifts to feelings of "inadequacy and insecurity," however, stepmothers with "secure" attachment styles also appear very vulnerable-even more so than the stepmothers with "anxious" attachment styles.  While "the avoidantly attached [stepmothers] had fewer feelings of inadequacy and insecurity than the secure and anxious groups," they were "more likely to feel resentful and treat their stepchildren unfairly."  

The authors of the new study call for more stepfamily support groups to deal with the problems they have identified.  Given the pervasiveness and apparent intractability of these stepmother problems, however, readers may well conclude that it would make more sense to start thinking about prevention, not cure.  That means curbing the national epidemic of divorce, which is trapping far too many women in the miserable role of wicked stepmother.

(Source: Cindi Penor Ceglian and Scott Gardner, "Attachment Style and the 'Wicked Stepmother' Spiral," Journal of Divorce and Remarriage 34[2000]: 111-126.)