"During the period during which they were single, one out of every three adults (33%) has lived with someone of the opposite gender, other than family members or relatives. Co-habitation is much more common among men (39% have done so) than among women (28%). Age is one of the most striking factors, though. Almost half (44%) of the nation's adults under 35 - i.e. those in the Baby Bust generation - co-habited, compared to one-third (33%) of those in the 35 to 49 age bracket, one-quarter (24%) of those in their fifties and sixties, and just 1% of adults who are in their seventies or older.

A person's faith leanings and commitment were clearly related to co-habitation. Among born again Christians, just 25% had co-habited. Among individuals who called themselves Christian but did not have beliefs that classified them as "born again," 37% had co-habited. Forty-two percent of adults who associate with a faith other than Christianity had co-habited, while atheists were the most likely to do so (51%).

Among people who attend a Christian church of some type, 36% of Catholics had co-habited, compared to 30% among those aligned with a Protestant church."

(Source: George Barna, "Born Again Adults Less Likely to Co-Habit, Just as Likely to Divorce," Barna Research Group, Ltd., www.barna.org, August 6, 2001.)

"Th[e] century-long retreat from marriage is now almost a panicky rout of the pro-family people in our trend-setting states where no-fault 'nuptials' are increasingly hedged with informal 'trial marriages,' real-fault property contracts, separate names, separate bank accounts, separate lives.  In California now most young people suffer on soul-rending divorce-abandonment during childhood, one or more 'informal marriage and divorce' in their youth before officially getting married, and then two out of three of them get officially divorced."

(Source: Jack D. Douglas, "The Ultimate Costs of the Retreat from Marriage and Family," in Bryce J. Christensen, ed., The Retreat from Marriage: Causes and Consequences, Lanham, MD: University Press of America, 1990, p.60.)

Americans who want to understand why the national divorce rate has soared since mid-century may find some clues in a study recently published in the Journal of Marriage and the Family on the "cultural evolution" in American attitudes about the ideal marriage partner.  Looking at data on mate preferences collected in 1939, 1967, 1977, 1984/1985, and 1996, the authors of the new study limn some problematic shifts. 

For instance, between 1939 and 1996, "both sexes increased the importance they attach to physical attractiveness in a mate."  While men ranked physical attractiveness only 14th out of 18 desirable mate characteristics in 1939, they ranked it 8th on the same list in 1996.  Among women, physical attractiveness jumped in the ranking of desirable mate characteristics from 17th on a list of 18 in 1939 to 13th in 1996.  Though the analysts confess their inability to identify with certainty the reason for this shift, they point to "the surge in visual media-television, movies, Internet images, and virtual reality"-as a likely cause.  Moreover, this shift in social attitudes would naturally track the astounding growth of "the cosmetics, diet, and cosmetic surgery industries," which now take in $53 billion annually.

During the same period that physical attractiveness was growing in importance as a criterion for choosing an ideal mate, however,  "there appeared to be a general decrease in the valuation of refinement, neatness, and chastity, for both men and women."  The authors of the study comment particularly on the declining value placed on chastity, calling this "one of the most striking cultural changes" uncovered.  Among the 18 characteristics sought in a mate, chastity ranked 10th for men in 1939 but only 16th in 1996.  Similarly, while chastity ranked 10th in women's hierarchy of mate characteristics in 1939, it had fallen to 17th by 1996.  "Clearly, the cultural value attached to virginity has declined over the past 57 years," remark the researchers, who trace this shift to "the increased dissemination of birth control devices and the concurrent sexual revolution of the 1960s."

The newly published study examines only what American men and women are looking for in a marriage partner, and not what they are recoiling from when they terminate a union-as now so often happens.  However, readers may well suspect that when young people care more about how a prospective partner looks than about how that person acts, they are setting themselves up for heartbreak.

(Source:  David M. Buss et al.,  "A Half Century of Mate Preferences: The Cultural Evolution of Values," Journal of Marriage and Family 63[2001]: 491-503.)